11 reasons why I love counselling and why you should never be embarrassed about going
You most likely clicked through to this post because of the title? Because I mentioned counselling and oh my god does that mean I’m about to admit I have mental health issues and that I was sent to a counsellor to get sorted out.
Am I about to reveal that the ‘travel blogger’ dream is all a lie and in reality I’m actually really unhappy? Can you now finally be released from the social media pressures of ‘insta fame’ and all the happiness it’s deemed to deliver you?
I hope you’ve already released yourself from the illusion that what you see on Instagram is all that goes on in someones’ life, I really do.
Whilst I’m not here to deliver some shocking news about my mental state (i’m doing great), I’m simply here as ever to remind you that every single person on this planet has problems, worries and has things they struggle to deal with. Whether that’s physically, mentally or emotionally. Including myself.
It’s completely normal.
Mental health isn’t spoken about nearly as much as it’s experienced. We all have ‘mental health’ and we have to take responsibility for it and look after ourselves. There’s a serious lack of funding allocated to mental health education and as a result there are so many assumptions made when the words ‘mental health’ and ‘counselling’ are mentioned.
Yes i’ve been to a counsellor. No i’m not embarrassed about it. No my life is not perfect. But also no, going to a counsellor doesn’t mean I have mental health issues and that I need ‘sorting out’.
We so quickly assume that seeking support is a sign of struggle and there’s an odd association with this then being a weakness.
I feel counselling is actually quite the opposite and shows incredible amounts of strength.
In fact I think going to see a counsellor is a huge sign of courage and shows a willingness to reflect on your self in a very ‘naked’ way. How amazing is it that you’re curious about your own mind and you want to get to know it. I think so anyway. After all, you’re stuck with it for a pretty long time.
You can choose to see a counsellor without being ‘ill’ or being on anti depressants or without being forced to go.
Counselling is NOT a bad thing.
I feel very privileged to have a psychotherapist as a mum and in turn I have been raised with complete emotional freedom and support, hence why I speak so openly about the topic. I hope that only time stands between this being the case for everyone (and i’m here to do my bit).
I have zero embarrassment in sharing that I have been to counselling. In fact I’ve invested in counselling during three periods in my life that I found hard to navigate through alone. Counselling gave me both the space and perspective to work through these periods, to acknowledge them and also assisted me in developing the tools to overcome them.
I spent most of 2018 seeing a counsellor weekly in London to navigate through the transitional period I found myself in. Read some more about that here.
The truth is, counselling is a serious privilege and if I could justify the money every week – I would go regardless of whether I would consider that period of my life particularly difficult or not.
Private counselling sessions can indeed be expensive, hence why I don’t do the latter. You can pay anything from £40-£200 for a session depending on where you go and the experience your counsellor has. Fear not though there are many places that offer counselling for free and a lot of counsellors offer low income and student rates.
Don’t know how to locate a counsellor? Pop your address into The Counselling Directory and search your local area.
This post is basically a few words from me to you incase you are going through a difficult time or are having reoccurring emotions / relationship problems that are making you feel uncomfortable.
There is no one in this world that doesn’t have bad days and you are never alone, even if you feel it.
Reach out and talk about it.
11 reasons I love counselling and would highly recommend it…
1. You get to sit and talk about you and your life to someone who’s actually listening…
There aren’t many situations in which you can talk about yourself and your worries for a solid hour and not feel selfish about it. Everyone has their own problems right? Sometimes it can feel difficult putting your thoughts onto your friends and family but with a counsellor that is exactly what they are there for. They want to hear what you have to say, what you feel, what you’re scared about and what’s upset you. In fact the more you say the better.
2. You just don’t have to feel bad about it…
You’re paying them to listen – moan away! 😉
3. You don’t have to feel embarrassed about anything…
Your counsellor is someone that is not going to judge you at all. You can say what you want without getting scared of a reaction. You don’t have to hold back and nothing you say leaves the room. It’s a safe place. This freedom opens you up to work through difficult feelings that maybe you haven’t previously acknowledged.
4. It’s time to become your own best friend…
Saying things out loud that you’ve perhaps never shared or spoken about allows you to really listen and understand where you’re at. If you don’t really know how you feel, how do you know what you need? You get the chance to get to know yourself better than ever before.
5. If you want to cry it out, you can do exactly that…
Honestly, it’s your choice how you use your session. Even if counselling simply encourages you to just let it all out, you’ll feel an overwhelming sense of relief afterwards.
6. You gain new perspectives that you hadn’t previously considered…
I honestly have so many lightbulb moments in counselling. I mean, I generally feel like i’m quite experienced at working through my emotions but there are certainly times where i’m like, ‘why on earth do i feel like this? I don’t get it and i don’t know what the solution is’. Sitting and talking to my counsellor has drawn so many lines between the dots in my life and has really made me notice reoccurring ‘issues’ that I had never linked together. The simple realisation of some behavioural patterns has honestly been game changing. Once you know what you’re dealing with, it’s so much easier to resolve.
7. You learn how to navigate your way through difficult times
Talking to a counsellor can bring clarity to the cloudiest of times. It’s incredible what happens and what you are capable of when you nourish yourself in a safe and secure environment.
8. You are able to make more informed decisions…
Through counselling you are exercising your brain like a muscle, just like people go to the gym to build strength in their physical appearance, spend time building strength in your mind. The stronger you are mentally, the better you will be able to make decisions and feel confident doing so.
9. You get some reflection time…
Life can be busy and particularly with a career in social media (which never switches off) it can be hard to switch off. You’ll feel like a complete idiot getting your phone out and scrolling your Instagram feed in a counselling session. Too right!!! We need to be spending more time just with ourselves and counselling forces you to do this wonderful thing.
10. You learn how to rely on yourself…
Counsellors aren’t there to sit and tell you what to do (unfortunately) but they are there to support you whilst you figure it out and will suggest new coping mechanisms to guide you. Through doing so you take your life into your own hands and you grow confident in your own ability to manage yourself.
11. Invest in your future…
I see counselling as the biggest investment in your future and in aiding the most sustainable state of mental health. I will always prioritise the time and money to look after my mind. Your brain is a complex and delicate organ, it’s with you for life so it’s time to get it on side.
Life becomes so much easier.
A slightly different post today.
Thank you for reading <3
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