16 things I’d like to say to young women all over the world

 In Advice, Reflections

When you own a social media profile with a certain following or a business considered to be influential, I believe you also hold a responsibility in the content you push out through the media and the messages you promote online.

Whether you accept responsibility or not, as an influencer you… influence people.

For myself, around 75% of my current audience are females between the ages of 17-26. These years are some key stages of your life, in which you make some pretty big decisions and ultimately you are ‘finding yourself’, right?

So when I see big influencers promoting the likes of tea detoxes and cosmetic surgery, and to be honest (this is totally personal) wearing obscene amounts of make-up – it frustrates me. Before you jump to any conclusions, I’m not saying you shouldn’t wear make up, and you shouldn’t get cosmetic surgery. We all have insecurities, preferences and, at the end of the day can make our own decisions, but when this continual message of ‘changing yourself’ is getting promoted and sponsored across channels, it’s seriously damaging.

Young women, just like myself, are impressionable. We want to fit in, we want to look good and if the role models of today (which tend to be social influencers) are promoting something… whether we act upon it or not, we are absorbing that information and that message.

For younger girls, this happens even more so.

There are, of course, many incredible influencers and public figures out there that are giving out awesome messages – I’m definitely not tarnishing everyone with the same brush. This topic is just something that has been bothering me recently, along with how social media is destroying our generation of travellers and, as always, I feel the need to be honest and express my opinions.

So here we are, in no particular order, here are…

16 things I’d like to say to young women:

1. Search for fulfilment in yourself, not admiration from others.

So often we look to our appearance, what we are buying and how many likes we have on social media to justify ourselves. These things are never ever going to bring you the ultimate happiness you desire. They might make you feel good for a bit, but I encourage you to look into other areas of your life for something more sustainable.

Are you happy with who you are? Do you surround yourself with good people? Are you happy in your job? Are you satisfied with where you are in life?

If not, what can you do about this? Read my 11 self-care habits to increase your happiness here.

2. Self confidence will bring you more relationship success than botox.

Leading on from my last point, let’s talk about relationships. Let your success with getting to know yourself and pursuing the happiest version of yourself take you into good relationships. The right boys will be more attracted to what’s beneath the surface than what you do to your face. Can we please all stop taking these lip fillers to the extremes too? PLEASE. Natural beauty for the WIN.

3. Try and see the incredible beauty in being different from one another…

How many of us actually look in the mirror and say,

“I’m happy with how I look.”

I would guess a low percentage of us, sadly. But what is it that has caused this constant comparison to each other and to the ‘perfect’ body? The fact of the matter is, whether it is social media, magazines, the advertising choices of main stream brands or whatever else – subconscious influence is a real thing.

I know it’s easier said than done, but we need to stop hating our bodies. It wastes so much time and space in our heads. If we all looked the same, the world would be such a boring place. There is no ideal. We need to stop constantly seeking change and diets and surgery to become this ‘generic look’, because that’s exactly what’s happening.

If we all get botox and lip fillers and boob jobs and eyelashes and hair extensions and reduce our body fat to 0%, where on earth is that going to get us? A characterless generation that can’t actually even afford meaningful expenses like renting your own home or travel.

4. You honestly don’t HAVE to have a boyfriend.

Not having a boyfriend comes with SO many advantages and being single isn’t something to be ashamed about or something that should be frowned upon. Focus on you and don’t force yourself into a relationship before you’re ready to have one. If you have a boyfriend, make sure that he enhances your life and supports your dreams, just like you do his. Don’t let a boy define your existence and be your primary source of happiness.

5. Stop obsessing over diets and extreme lifestyle choices.

You don’t need to clean-eat every single meal, but you also shouldn’t be eating everything in sight. Eat in moderation and build exercise into your life as much as you can. Simple as.

6. Don’t let ‘being famous’ be a life goal of yours.

Just going to throw that out there. I’ve spoken to enough people that you’d consider ‘famous’ and that ‘have it all’ and trust me there’s a lot that goes on behind closed doors and offline. We are all human, we all have shit days and good ones. No amount of money or fame will change that.

7. Nobody likes a show off.

When you’re posting something on social or communicating with someone, think about what you’re saying and why you’re saying it. Double-taking before I post has been a big learning curve for me in the past couple of years. We are so quick to show off our latest gadgets, accessories, travel snaps and more, that we forget the impression we are actually making on others (hence the title of this blog post).

I know that now, before I post or speak, I often think, ‘what am I trying to say? What message do I want to give?’

8. Laughter is everything.

The ability to laugh through tough situations, through difficult moments and through challenging stages of your life will relieve you of a lot of stress and anxiety. Surrounding yourself with friends and people that have the ability to let go and see the light in situations is the best investment you’ll ever make. After all, they say laughter cures a multitude of ills.

9. If you have an urge to travel – do it.

If there’s even one bone in your body that wants to travel or a desire that needs to be explored…. do it. You don’t have to head out on the road for a year or even a month, it could just be a week or a weekend.

Don’t leave yourself with any regrets.

If you feel uncertain about travelling solo, reassure yourself with my posts on solo travel here.

10. Look after your skin and hair.

Honestly, just look after it. It’s something my mum used to say to me when I was younger and I used to be like, yeah whatever. But seriously, as you grow up you start to realise the value of things like your skin and hair. Particularly after having acne, my skin became a priority and is now something I will always spend money on, be it sun creams, cleansing products or the right make-up.

It’s the same story with my hair. When I had acne I went on Roaccutane, a treatment that stops the production of sebum from your sebaceous glands. These glands also provide your hair and skin with the correct oils, and because that wasn’t being produced, my skin and hair seriously dried out. My hair was breaking off, so I invested in advice from professionals. I now like to use protein based hair products {e.g. Kerastase and Redken} wherever possible and wherever I’m able to, I will not ‘cheap out’ on these products.

11. Make time for your family and love them with everything you have.

Again, something I’ve really only valued fully in the last year. Not that I didn’t love my family before, but as you grow up you think everyone’s invincible and that no one ever dies. The sad truth is that everyone eventually does, and we have to make the most of every single second we have. Again, have no regrets. Love them with everything you have, appreciate them and make time for them. No one will ever love you like they do.

Check out my post about showing people that you love them here.

12. If your friends and family hate him, he is probably not the one.

Obviously there are (rare) exceptions, but trust me, I’m speaking from experience! Having said this, we have to experience the crap relationships to appreciate the good ones when they eventually come around. Just like with travelling, the difficult experiences always end up the funniest and the one that allow you to grow the most.

13. Mental health and physical health are equal and should be valued the same.

Feeling down all the time and breaking your leg are both damages to your health and it’s about bloody time it was treated that way.

We live in a very challenging world and are faced with difficult decisions and situations on a daily basis. It’s harder to understand for people that haven’t experienced it or studied it, but chemicals and hormones in your body can completely overrule you. It’s beyond your control.

There is absolutely no shame in the entire world in admitting that you are feeling low or that you are unhappy, that you are feeling lost or you are feeling unmotivated. There is absolutely no shame in seeing a counsellor and talking about how you feel. In fact, I swear, if I could afford it I would see a counsellor every single week. I have seen counsellors on three separate occasions during different stages in my life, I’ll go again when and if I need to, and I couldn’t value them more.

Having good mental health is incredibly fortunate so should you have it – please cherish it.

See my post about the benefits of counselling here.

14. A happy life comes from a happy you.

It comes from you, not your boyfriend or your friends or your dog. Sure, they can enhance your happiness but take responsibility for yourself here. The happier and clearer you are in your own head, the happier and clearer people you will attract. FACT. This could mean changing your outlook, or this could mean getting the support you need (see above).

‘The universe does this thing where it aligns you with people things and situations that match your vibrations. The higher you’re vibrating, the more you will attract things that are beneficial to your well-being.’

15. College isn’t the be all and end all; your attitude is.

Your attitude, your morals and your values will carry you further than any other thing in this life. Be a good person and life will be good to you.

16. Have FUN!

Make sure that at the end of your years you are going to look back and wish nothing more than that you could do it all over again. Go and create some awesome memories!

16 things i'd like to say to young women | Where's Mollie? A Travel and Adventure Lifestyle Blog

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Love as always + happy adventuring,

Mollie.

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