Why I think having time single is SO important

I’m certainly not against relationships, infact it fills me with complete joy when i see my friends and family in love and with someone by their side to enjoy life with..

I honestly cannot wait to feel that way about someone and to share my life with someone in a romantic way.

But right now, my friends and my family are my partners in crime and my heart surprises me every day with the content I feel… without a guy.

At the beginning of last year I fell good and proper for someone. I felt the love drug stronger than I ever anticipated it to feel and the whole thing came crashing down. I face planted the floor, hard.

Whether it was love or not, I felt intense emotion and even as the strong woman I deemed myself to be, I crumbled.

Truth is, when it comes to love, there’s no such thing as being strong or ‘in control’. You are heading out on a rollercoaster and until you are forced to get out of the seat it’s pretty hard to press the escape button. 

I would be lying if I said I was over ‘it’ now, even 18 months later and even though wasn’t even a relationship at all.

I experienced heart break. I experienced someone breaking up with me and loss, all for the very first time.

We all deal with heartbreak in different ways. Some throw themselves straight into a new relationship, some into food, some into substances, some into work and some into travel.

My heartbreak encouraged me to push my career forward and concentrate on strengthening my personal foundations (in hope that next time the damage wouldn’t be so). I know that I certainly wouldn’t have achieved the extent of what I have in the last 18 months if it wasn’t for being single.

You see, being single is a god damn priviledge and if you are single… use this as an incredible opportunity to get to know yourself inside out, to invest in yourself and in your long term happiness.

Please don’t listen so deeply to society and feel like you aren’t complete without a boyfriend or that you aren’t enough because you don’t have one.

People ask me on the daily when I will settle down and have a relationship. Of course sometimes I do think, fuck am I that difficult a person to be in a relationship with? I’ve been single for a bloody long time after all. Over 18 months now.

Well actually yes I am, yes I am difficult. But not impossible by any means. I’m simply not out there looking for or needing a relationship and that way I don’t put up with something that doesnt feel right or that restricts me and my goals.

That doesn’t mean I’m not open to a relationship though.

It also probably doesn’t help my case that i travel the world full time and don’t ever really have my feet in a country for longer than a few weeks.

But you can’t have it all at once right? The positives of travel definitely outweight the negatives for me and a relationship will be prioritised when it feels right.

Read my ‘downsides to a life filled with travel’ here.

I’m totally open to a relationship but I guess until I find something that I don’t have to question, I couldn’t be happier to be single and it feels so good.

It didn’t always feel good, but spend time with it and yourself and I can assure you it will.

During my last 18 months in single town, one thing I took the opportunity to do was solo travel for 5 months and the personal journey I went on was ridiculous.

Read the ‘lessons I learnt and ways that solo travel changed me’ blog post here.

I wouldn’t be me today if I hadnt have experienced that and I’m so proud of me today and who I am. Another reason I don’t regret a single second of being single.

I have also realised the true value of friendship through being single as I have had all my spare time to invest in friends. I have gained some life long soulmates in the process and I know that whilst a boy will always add a dimension that friends cannot, I truly feel so complete with my friends and family.

I know that the foundation I have spent time developing whilst being single and not having a ‘safety blanket’ present to fall on, is exactly what gives me the confidence to seek what I truly want. Something or someone that will only add goodness to my life.

Being single is the ultimate life skill to learn.

If you don’t spend time with yourself, how will you find out what REALLY makes you happy?

And if you don’t learn all about what makes you happy, how will you know you’re pursuing it?

Having confidence in being alone means you’ll never be scared to walk away from a relationship at the fear of loneliness, because being a pro-singleton you know full well you’ll be okay. And having confidence to walk away from whats not right for you will make the room for the right one.

Love as always + happy adventuring,

Mollie x

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Why I think having time single is SO important | Where's Mollie? A travel and adventure lifestyle blog

  • Juliane

    I totally agree with you, great post 👍

  • Jess

    Yesss!!! Love this and can totally relate! x

  • Amy

    This was exactly what I needed to read/ hear having gone through something very similar myself in January. Nice to hear there are others out there with wanderlusting hearts.

  • You have hit the nail on the head Mollie! I used to always feel inferior for not ever having a boyfriend and continually wondered what was ‘wrong’ with me (and still guilty of it a bit) but I realise that I needed that time as I wouldn’t have gained the strength I have or be the person I am. And through that time I’ve learned how to love myself and how to be happy and independent so that when the right person comes along I’ll be in the right place to love them back!

    JosieVictoriaa // Fashion, Travel & Lifestyle

    • That makes me so happy to hear! To push through the comfortable stage and not give in to another relationship will bring life long benefits 🙂

  • stephaniestraveldiary

    Great article Mollie! “Being single is the ultimate life skill to learn.” <- This should be a meme or a gif LOL 🙂
    When my last boyfriend broke up with me, I was so lost that I
    flew halfway across the world to escape from my feelings… and although
    the travelling did not heal my broken heart, it did change me in a good
    way. I fell in love with travelling and even went on another solo trip.
    Most of my friends are in relationships and say I am too picky… or that I should try onlinedating. But meanwhile I am just thinking…. I will wait for the right guy, but while I wait I will live life to the fullest and enjoy life and the world 🙂

  • G

    I definitely agree with you! I think our society puts having a significant other as our top priority all the time but in my opinion this couldn’t be further from what really should be our top priorities! I love what you’re saying here and keep it up!
    xx, G

  • Oh I totally agree with this! I was in a 4 and a half year long relationship and it ended just before my last year of university. I was devastated at the time, but over that next year I feel like I grew so much, I became more confident and really learnt stuff about myself! It was eye opening! I’m definitely more confident after 2 and a half years single and getting to know myself again.

    Katie // Life of Kitty

  • Kansas Mackenzie

    Love this post Mollie!! Thank you for your honest words, I really need them <3